Category Archives: Tranquil

5.

Ngozi had completed her secondary education about two years earlier, so she was considered ready for marriage. The two families began making preparations. Ngozi was to be married to my Emeka. I wept when I heard the news and I wished I could just disappear. Everyone knew it. Emeka had been mine, but I had failed to keep him away from the claws of another woman. I had become game for ridicule.

Slowly, but steadily, I became distant from Ngozi, my family and the world.

One day Emeka showed up at our house, shaky and furious, asking to see Ngozi. It was evening and everyone was at church but me. Nothing held my interest for long, not even church. I told him to go away and come back the next day as no one was at home. He begged me to let him come inside and wait. I agreed when it dawned on me that he was not going to leave. I went inside to light the lanterns as it was getting dark.

He followed me in, overpowered me and had his way with me.

I screamed, cried and cursed. He let out a menacing laugh and looked proud of his wicked achievement. I looked at the blood that dripped down my legs and I cried the more. He took one of the lanterns I had lit, bent down in a crouched position beside me and handed it to me,

“Now be a good girl and light the rest of the lanterns.”

I hit the lantern on his head, successfully inflicting a painful wound on his head. He screamed in pain. As he rushed out to get water to wash the blood which had now covered his entire face, I threw the lit lantern at him. It missed and landed on the floor.

It went out, or so I thought.

I was awoken by his voice. He screamed my name. I opened my eyes; my room was on fire.

I told him I couldn’t move as my leg was trapped under the ceiling that had fallen down. He tried to free me, but when he couldn’t, he simply said goodbye and he was sorry,

“Maybe it’s better this way” he had said, and then he left.

But the walls collapsed, trapping him as well.

I was sure I was going to die, and then she rushed in.

“Ngozi!” I screamed. “Help me, I’m stuck. I can’t get out. Ngozi help me.”

“Ngozi”, he screamed, “it is Emeka. I had tried to free her, but to no avail. Help me, so we can try to free her together.”

“No Ngozi!” I pleaded, but it was too late.

She went to her husband and the rest of the ceiling made its way down onto me… 

4.

We had first seen each other at the village square, playing as simple minded youngsters. He approached me and I was rude, but not as usual. Believe it or not, I was once a very happy person. A fire so bright it seemed it could never be quenched was ever present in my dreamy eyes. I would play and laugh with Ngozi as if that were our last day together. All the girls around envied us and they made several attempts to take out their anger on Ngozi whom they perceived to be the weaker one. I would always stand up to them and hold them to ridicule especially in front of those boys they always went on and on about. It gave me some sort of sinister pleasure to see their faces turn red with embarrassment.

Ngozi and I would laugh so hard till our sides hurt. We’d most likely get scolded and possibly beaten when the girls’ parents would come to report to our own parents the next day, but what did we care? We shared a bond that seemed unbreakable…

But I fell in love, and so did she.

He came to meet me, I gave him a very good telling off. That didn’t deter him though, and before I knew what was happening, we had become close friends and then lovers. Yes, he was the first man I ever loved. To this day, he is the only one actually.

The more I fell in love with him, the more I spoke about him. But it was not long before Ngozi fell in love with the man I had been speaking about.

Ngozi was light skinned, so arguably prettier than me. I was more masculine; tough and hard on the outside and on the inside. The wise ones avoided any form of confrontation with me, but Ngozi was free with everybody.

No sooner had I completely fallen for Emeka that he began to fall for Ngozi.

It was a few weeks to our senior certificate examination. Emeka was now Ngozi’s. I had lost the two of them.

I loved Ngozi and I wanted her to be happy, so I let go. And even though it killed me to see the two of them together, I still remained faithful to Ngozi.

Then it happened… 

3.

I stared at her in complete disbelief, shock and part horror. For the first time ever, I wanted to cry for her, cry with her. My hands went to my face, covering my nose and my mouth; I was beyond terrified. I began to breathe through my mouth when the lump that had formed in my throat had made it almost impossible to breathe through my nose.

“Ngozi”, I said in between the hot tears that made their way to my eyes.

She looked up at me and smiled, tears streaming down her face.

“Are you back to finish me off?” I asked. “Are you going to know no rest until you’ve successfully rid me of everything I have in this world? You just want me dead so bad and you can’t help it, isn’t it? Why can’t you stay away from me? I hate you Ngozi, I hate you and I hope you die a slow, lonely and painful death!”

Her countenance fell. Now she was sad, with no smile which seemed to be a ray of hope across her grief stained features. I was crying now.

“Look at me!” I screamed. “Look at me!”

“The scars still hurt when I touch them. They say they will heal completely and disappear soon enough, but even if when they do Ngozi, I still will not forgive you. I will never ever forgive you Ngozi!”

I stormed off into my room. I just stood staring at nothing, unable to control the tears which just poured out like untamed beasts on the loose. Finally I fell to the ground. I wept. Nothing could ease the pain in my heart now; nothing. Ngozi was the devil herself! Why she had come back was no longer a mystery. She was here to haunt me and taunt me to my grave. I despised her, but I felt even sorrier for her.

She opened my door.

“Onyeka. Forgive me.”

She turned to leave and I called her. I wanted so bad to ask her to come in, hug her and talk to her like before. But just as I was about to do that, I was overcome by my hatred for her. And rather than ask her to come in,

“When are you leaving?” was all that my strength could carry.

I felt something die in me. She simply responded with an exhausted goodnight. I heard her cry all the way to her room. She was alone in this world. She needed me, I needed her. But neither was strong enough to approach the other.

I prayed for death in my sleep that night, but all I got was a vivid repertoire of the very evil that made realize that I had been living with a demon all along.

2.

“Come and have your seat”, Mama called out to me.

Reluctantly, I slowly moved to go and take my place beside Papa who sat opposite Mama and Ngozi. Chike was curled up on the floor beside Mama. He looked at me, probably still shaken about how I threw him out of my room earlier on. He looked sad. I mouthed the word “Sorry”. He smiled to tell me it was alright. I loved little Chike so much and it hurt me to my bones that he was always caught up in the rift between Ngozi and me.

I bent down to hug Chike. I knew it would get to Ngozi, especially since I merely looked away when she had initially smiled at me. It worked! She ran out of the room, making muffled sounds as if she were trying to hold back tears. I let out a low, stifled laugh. Chike let go of me and looked as if he was going to cry. I hated when he got so sentimental. Sometimes I felt like kicking or flinging him away, along with Ngozi of course. But Chike had a special place in my heart and he knew it as well as how to take advantage of it, especially when Ngozi was involved. I shook my head.

“Don’t judge me. That girl is a demon I tell you.”

Mama shot me a warning look; I got the message. I smiled my devious smile and I went to sit beside my father. He just sat there, seemingly dazed, staring into space. He didn’t even respond to my greeting. Being hot tempered and saucy as I was, I was swift to roll my eyes and let out quite an audible hiss.

Mama screamed at me.

“Are you no longer with your senses? How dare you hiss at your father?”

Mama knew she was asking for trouble and I was very well prepared to give her nothing short of that.

“Did you hear me say Papa take, this hiss is for you? Or must I obtain license to hiss again? Please o! You do not want to provoke me this night because it will be to the detriment of everyone in this house. The hiss was directed at no one so I don’t know why it will be peppering your flesh. Mama please just let me be tonight.”

She was shocked to say the least. Papa still did not move.

“I don’t blame you. But I blame myself for bringing you into this world.” She folded her arms and shook as she spoke.

I was hurt, but I never let my hurt show in that house, never, at least not since the incident.

Finally, Papa spoke.

“Ngozi! Ngozi!!!”

She didn’t answer, but she returned to the room. I looked at Papa, unable to understand why he simply ignored everyone and everything around him. I looked at Chike who was holding on to Mama, scared and hurt by the exchange I just had with Mama. I looked at Mama; a tear escaped. I was sorry and she was too. We knew it, but we would not admit it. Then I finally brought myself to look at the she-devil. My heart stopped, my brain froze; I was too terrified to even breathe…

1.

The rain had just stopped. The air was cool, gentle with a calming effect on the usually busy village. The birds sang as the trees swayed and danced to their melodious rhythms. Tranquil; such solitude and peace I found.  I loved the rain, the serenity and newness it brought with it was unmatched; unparalleled. I was always temporarily relieved of every single care in the world. I looked out from my tiny window; it was beautiful! The vast blue expanse that hung above, the fresh and lush green beneath; simply breathtaking. I prayed for that moment not to pass. Then I heard Chike’s voice, like a thorn piercing into my flesh,

“She’s back o! She’s back! Sister Ngozi is back o!!!”

For a moment there, I sat motionless, until Chike burst into my room screaming at the top of his lungs.

“Get out!” I yelled back in annoyance, frightening him so much that he jumped. In fear, surprise and confusion, my tiny brother scurried out of my room.

Why? Why was she back? Why couldn’t she have come another day? Why today of all days? I felt the hot tears swelling behind my eyes. She was back to ruin my life once again, the demon! I couldn’t fight them back anymore. The tears gushed out like springs of water; I could not stop them.  

My heart hurt. She was going to take everything away from me. I could not take it anymore. She had to be stopped. My head soon began to hurt. I cried and cried, eventually falling asleep.

The chilly breeze hit my skin hard causing me to wake up with a start. It was dark, but for the tiny ray of light from the lantern in the corridor. As I got up to close my window, I noticed how heavy my head felt; it still ached. Leaving my room for the parlor which was chilly and silent just like a morgue, I wondered if all that had happened were just a dream. I walked in to find my family seated there, in the poorly lit room, silent as if they had been frozen in the cold.

I was scared stiff.

“Mama, Papa, is all well?”

My father said nothing, neither did he make even as much as an attempt to move. Had they indeed been frozen by the cold? I saw Ngozi; she was the first to move. She sat beside my mother, her back turned to me. She looked back at me and smiled; a very sad smile. I had hated her for as long as I could remember, but I could not lie to myself; she looked radiantly beautiful. I had never seen her like this. But I could tell she was sad. Not just sad that she’d have to contend with all the evil I had planned for her, but genuinely sad. It was almost as if…